Have you ever...tried so hard..to keep things to yourself..only to find out..all your good friends know about it..way better than you ever thought?
I've been so busy these past couple of days..
It's just all a whirlwind. It's like..woah where am I?
I'm just like..thinking.
Freshman year went by.
But I only have a few good memories from it.
Shouldn't highschool have tons?
Good or bad?
I don't know, i was so social at school, and at the barn..but at home..i did my homework and did not a lot, except mess about on the computer. It was like..I didnt have time to breathe, to be with friends. To be a teenager.
I kind of miss my childhood in a way..and it's..kind of painful now..to see..all my friends so carefree..where all they're worrying about is...where they're going to party next.
But they don't seem to care about grades..where as..I do.
I don't know.
Can you guys help me..like..keep myself rounded and balanced this year?
I needed more guiding last year, but now i know the way, and i can handle it, but a little help would be nice :]
And i know you guys will help me. <3
Who am I?
Will I become what I want?
Is this who I really am..or am I not done changing yet?
I feel very..out of place at the moment.
As if I'm in constant limbo at the moment; and there's nothing I can do about it.
I know..sometimes I need to let go...and breathe..and go with the flow..I guess in that sense, i'm a control freak, to an extent.
What is this life all about, really?
I'm seeing a trend..lately..all my blog posts..have been focused around one thing.
What's wrong with my head?
Normally I'm more levelheaded..and more...balanced and down to Earth..and now..its as if..my mind won't stop, at all.
It makes me feel very uneasy, and I feel..as if I'm becoming detached, from my own deeper thoughts..and my own emotions. It's odd. I don't know why I'm feeling like this...It's sane.
And it's making it worse, just..thinking about it.
Cause then i start wondering why I can't just leave it be. Makes me feel as if there's something acutally wrong with me.
See why I put up a front most of the time? The way i think, is very unnerving sometimes. It makes me seem insecure, and unstable..but i'm really not. I just think differently.
What are your goals for this year?
I'm going to try to just...be like a duck, i suppose..
let it all slide off my back. :]
We'll see how well this works.
I guess..in a way..
I'm acting like a teenager, because I'm trying to find myself.
I know who I am, but this world is ever turning..and...things change
But I'm happy.
Life goes on.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment