nate says:
you have a lovely face
a cute nose
gorgeous eyes
i do love your hair btw
Haha.
Nate was trying to cheer me up.
It kinda helped.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
It's two A.M. in my new home, this motel room
An ash tray full of lucky strikes
A half spent case of warm Bud Lite
Countin' regrets, fightin' back tears
Retracin' steps, gettin' no where
[Chorus]
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin to put smoke back in this cigarette
Come sunrise, guess I'll checkout and ditch this town
Put a few more miles between us
And keep driving till I finally mend my broken trust
Hangin' my hopes on highway signs
If I lie here, I'll loose my mind
[Chorus]
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin' to put smoke back in this cigarette
I may never know your reasons why
But someday I'm gonna see the good in your goodbye
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin to put smoke back in this cigarette
__________________________________________________
I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
When maybe I’d be back around
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You got to understand it’s a hard life,
that I’m going through
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
L A is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
________________________________________________________
Countin' regrets, fightin' back tears
Retracin' steps, gettin' no where - Sometimes I feel as if my mind is infested. Infested so heavily with a plague that can't help but make me feel as if I'm being eaten alive by my own thoughts. I tend not to regret things, but the things I do regret, are rather haunting, and are enough to tear me apart. And as they race through my mind, I have to choke back the tears..and remember I'm responsible for my actions..and those regrets...those situations...are in the past..But sadly, that's not always a comfort enough. I feel as if my mind is a broken record, as it keeps repeating and glitching. Not constantly, but sometimes...and sometimes..that amount of time, can be such a hinderance to what I really want to think about/do.
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed- When I wake...from another terrifying dream, and as I gasp to catch my breath, my eyes still half closed...I sometimes reach for you...hoping you'll be there..to calm me...to make the fear disappear...But i understand. It's not possible right now. It's a silly little thing I do. But it's a natural reaction. Don't take this the wrong way and think I'm impaitent in waiting for you. Or that..i can't deal with the wait. That's not how it is. I will wait. I want you. And only you. And that's how it's going to be, nothing can change it, I'm waiting, for you.
guess I'll checkout and ditch this town- Mentally, i feel as if I have checked out, on certain days. Not all the time, but there are deffiantly days...where i feel as if i want to do nothing more, but lay in my room...and simply think..and let those thoughts just flutter about...and escape this town..escape this place...escape earth. To escape my human form, which limits me so. I want to spread my wings, I want to do what I want already. I'm restless. And the winter winds are setting in...which make me even more restless...because I have nothing to keep my mind focused on, except a few things. It's as if, my mind flourishes when I'm busy..maybe because...I don't have the time or space to think negative things? I want to leave this town...I want to be who I dream of being..I want show the world who I am, and who I can be. I want to be...free, in a sense.
Hangin' my hopes on highway signs
If I lie here, I'll loose my mind - It's as if..my hopes and dreams seem..futile, at times. As if, I can and hope and dream and wish all I please..but nothing will ever come of such actions. I know everything needs to get put into action, so I try to set them into motion..but am I really doing anything, or are my actions fruitless? And sometimes...I do feel as if I'm going to lose my mind. Then again, did I ever have full control of such a tool? Sometimes it's such a distraction, the way mull things over, the way i tick, rather. Sometimes my thoughts scream louder than I can shut out. And there's no such thing as mental plugs. So, instead, you learn to busy yourself with other such things, to try to drown out some of the thoughts..until they fade away...like a train sliding along the tracks..away from you...it's not as near you now..but you still know it's there...and you know what it holds.
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you- When night falls in..you're the last thing I think about before i drift off to sleep. You tend to cleanse my mind before I go off into my vunerable state of slumber. And you guide me....when I feel as if I'm about to break. You're always there. Even though you have your own things to worry about and think about...you always see me through. And I think God blessed me...when I met you.
I keep my head from getting lazy - I have to keep my mind busy sometimes...depending on the mood. Otherwise it wonders..and it twists and it twirls..sometimes spinning me right into the center of the blackest mood. But other times..I can allow my mind to wonder...to plunder on its own..But that's when I'm in a good state of mind already, and I know the deep, swelling sea of unhappy thoughts, is at low tide and I needn't worry 'bout them. It really depends on my mood, on what I allow myself to think about.
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear - I feel bad for being gone sometimes. For being..so busy at times. But i'm a teen..nothing I can really do about it, and not feel some remorse for leaving those activities. I have a quote on quote, "rock". They're always there for me, when I need them. Infact, I have a few. And i fall back onto them...when I feel as if the odds are stacked against me
An ash tray full of lucky strikes
A half spent case of warm Bud Lite
Countin' regrets, fightin' back tears
Retracin' steps, gettin' no where
[Chorus]
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin to put smoke back in this cigarette
Come sunrise, guess I'll checkout and ditch this town
Put a few more miles between us
And keep driving till I finally mend my broken trust
Hangin' my hopes on highway signs
If I lie here, I'll loose my mind
[Chorus]
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin' to put smoke back in this cigarette
I may never know your reasons why
But someday I'm gonna see the good in your goodbye
Callin your name, it's a waste of my breath
There's no reachin' you across this empty bed
Stirrin' up ashes, tryin' to find passion
Where there's no love left
It's like tryin to put smoke back in this cigarette
__________________________________________________
I woke up today in London
As the plane was touching down
And all I could think about was Monday
When maybe I’d be back around
If this keeps me away much longer
I don’t know what I would do
You got to understand it’s a hard life,
that I’m going through
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
L A is getting kind of crazy
And New York is getting kind of cold
I keep my head from getting lazy
I just can’t wait to get back home
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you
________________________________________________________
Countin' regrets, fightin' back tears
Retracin' steps, gettin' no where - Sometimes I feel as if my mind is infested. Infested so heavily with a plague that can't help but make me feel as if I'm being eaten alive by my own thoughts. I tend not to regret things, but the things I do regret, are rather haunting, and are enough to tear me apart. And as they race through my mind, I have to choke back the tears..and remember I'm responsible for my actions..and those regrets...those situations...are in the past..But sadly, that's not always a comfort enough. I feel as if my mind is a broken record, as it keeps repeating and glitching. Not constantly, but sometimes...and sometimes..that amount of time, can be such a hinderance to what I really want to think about/do.
There's no reachin' you across this cold and empty bed- When I wake...from another terrifying dream, and as I gasp to catch my breath, my eyes still half closed...I sometimes reach for you...hoping you'll be there..to calm me...to make the fear disappear...But i understand. It's not possible right now. It's a silly little thing I do. But it's a natural reaction. Don't take this the wrong way and think I'm impaitent in waiting for you. Or that..i can't deal with the wait. That's not how it is. I will wait. I want you. And only you. And that's how it's going to be, nothing can change it, I'm waiting, for you.
guess I'll checkout and ditch this town- Mentally, i feel as if I have checked out, on certain days. Not all the time, but there are deffiantly days...where i feel as if i want to do nothing more, but lay in my room...and simply think..and let those thoughts just flutter about...and escape this town..escape this place...escape earth. To escape my human form, which limits me so. I want to spread my wings, I want to do what I want already. I'm restless. And the winter winds are setting in...which make me even more restless...because I have nothing to keep my mind focused on, except a few things. It's as if, my mind flourishes when I'm busy..maybe because...I don't have the time or space to think negative things? I want to leave this town...I want to be who I dream of being..I want show the world who I am, and who I can be. I want to be...free, in a sense.
Hangin' my hopes on highway signs
If I lie here, I'll loose my mind - It's as if..my hopes and dreams seem..futile, at times. As if, I can and hope and dream and wish all I please..but nothing will ever come of such actions. I know everything needs to get put into action, so I try to set them into motion..but am I really doing anything, or are my actions fruitless? And sometimes...I do feel as if I'm going to lose my mind. Then again, did I ever have full control of such a tool? Sometimes it's such a distraction, the way mull things over, the way i tick, rather. Sometimes my thoughts scream louder than I can shut out. And there's no such thing as mental plugs. So, instead, you learn to busy yourself with other such things, to try to drown out some of the thoughts..until they fade away...like a train sliding along the tracks..away from you...it's not as near you now..but you still know it's there...and you know what it holds.
And when the night falls in around me
And I don’t think I’ll make it through
Ill use your light to guide the way
Cuz all I think about is you- When night falls in..you're the last thing I think about before i drift off to sleep. You tend to cleanse my mind before I go off into my vunerable state of slumber. And you guide me....when I feel as if I'm about to break. You're always there. Even though you have your own things to worry about and think about...you always see me through. And I think God blessed me...when I met you.
I keep my head from getting lazy - I have to keep my mind busy sometimes...depending on the mood. Otherwise it wonders..and it twists and it twirls..sometimes spinning me right into the center of the blackest mood. But other times..I can allow my mind to wonder...to plunder on its own..But that's when I'm in a good state of mind already, and I know the deep, swelling sea of unhappy thoughts, is at low tide and I needn't worry 'bout them. It really depends on my mood, on what I allow myself to think about.
And all these days I spend away
Ill make up for this I swear
I need your love to hold me up
When it’s all to much to bear - I feel bad for being gone sometimes. For being..so busy at times. But i'm a teen..nothing I can really do about it, and not feel some remorse for leaving those activities. I have a quote on quote, "rock". They're always there for me, when I need them. Infact, I have a few. And i fall back onto them...when I feel as if the odds are stacked against me
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Lyrical Love
When love is a raging sea
You can hold on to me
We'll find a way tonight
Love is an ocean wide
I'll stay right here
It's where I'll always belong
Tied with your arms
Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set
I don't want to forget
What made us feel this way
You see through all my fears
And that's what got us here
[Ocean Wide- The Afters]
------------------------------------------
I feel what I've been feeling for you
Means I am falling for you
Something's opened up inside of me
And I dream
In shades that only can be
The colors of you and me
I think we both know what that means
I stand inside this promise I made to myself
That I was meant for you
Worth all the long nights dreaming of forever
Someday we will be together
I know it will have been so worth the wait
Ooh
Please wait for me
[Worth the wait- Jordin Sparks]
----------------------------------------
The little things, you do to me are
taking me over, i wanna show ya
everything inside of me
like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
[the little things, Colbie Caillat]
------------------------------------------------------
And it's been ten days without you in my reach,
And the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.
But time has changed nothing at all -
You're still the only one that feels like home.
I let you go but you're still the only one
That feels like home, yeah,
You're still the only one that feels like home,
You're still the only one I've gotta love.
Oh yeah...
[ten days- missy higgins]
--------------------------------------------------
Just tell me we will be
Together someday.
It's in the dreams I have.
I'll be your sunset
If you'll be my silhouette.
(You'll be my silhouette.)
Just take my hand and well,
Never let go because
If we're together now
We'll be together then.
Step back and see me walk away
And watch me run right back.
I'll show you how to love again.
This is the best idea I've had.
(This is the best idea I've had.)
[I'll be your sunset - A rocket to the moon]
____________________________________________________
And when I'm feelin' incomplete, you're my missing piece
And when you need your breath taken away I'll be your thief
From the start to the end we don't need to pretend
That we're perfect all the time
'Cause we know what we have through the good and the bad
It's the strength that you can't deny
I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us, this is us and this is how we love
Some ways we're different but together we're so right
This is us, this is us and this is how we love, oh yeah
And even if we fall apart we'll never feel alone
Just like the moon starts risin' our hearts bring us home
We can always find each other like the northern star
Doesn't matter where we are our love can't go that far
We don't always see eye to eye
You might see a million colors, I just see it black and white
Ain't no way we could get much higher
'Cause when we touch it feels like fire
We both know how good this feels
[This Is Us-Keyshia Cole]
:]
All songs
that make me think of my love <3
well.
The parts i have on here, some of the songs arent full out love songs, but have a few great lines
I have a lyrical love, it's better than a story book romance<3 It's better than anything.
You can hold on to me
We'll find a way tonight
Love is an ocean wide
I'll stay right here
It's where I'll always belong
Tied with your arms
Days like this, I wish the sun wouldn't set
I don't want to forget
What made us feel this way
You see through all my fears
And that's what got us here
[Ocean Wide- The Afters]
------------------------------------------
I feel what I've been feeling for you
Means I am falling for you
Something's opened up inside of me
And I dream
In shades that only can be
The colors of you and me
I think we both know what that means
I stand inside this promise I made to myself
That I was meant for you
Worth all the long nights dreaming of forever
Someday we will be together
I know it will have been so worth the wait
Ooh
Please wait for me
[Worth the wait- Jordin Sparks]
----------------------------------------
The little things, you do to me are
taking me over, i wanna show ya
everything inside of me
like a nervous heart that, is crazy beating
[the little things, Colbie Caillat]
------------------------------------------------------
And it's been ten days without you in my reach,
And the only time I've touched you is in my sleep.
But time has changed nothing at all -
You're still the only one that feels like home.
I let you go but you're still the only one
That feels like home, yeah,
You're still the only one that feels like home,
You're still the only one I've gotta love.
Oh yeah...
[ten days- missy higgins]
--------------------------------------------------
Just tell me we will be
Together someday.
It's in the dreams I have.
I'll be your sunset
If you'll be my silhouette.
(You'll be my silhouette.)
Just take my hand and well,
Never let go because
If we're together now
We'll be together then.
Step back and see me walk away
And watch me run right back.
I'll show you how to love again.
This is the best idea I've had.
(This is the best idea I've had.)
[I'll be your sunset - A rocket to the moon]
____________________________________________________
And when I'm feelin' incomplete, you're my missing piece
And when you need your breath taken away I'll be your thief
From the start to the end we don't need to pretend
That we're perfect all the time
'Cause we know what we have through the good and the bad
It's the strength that you can't deny
I don't need to find a million reasons why
This is us, this is us and this is how we love
Some ways we're different but together we're so right
This is us, this is us and this is how we love, oh yeah
And even if we fall apart we'll never feel alone
Just like the moon starts risin' our hearts bring us home
We can always find each other like the northern star
Doesn't matter where we are our love can't go that far
We don't always see eye to eye
You might see a million colors, I just see it black and white
Ain't no way we could get much higher
'Cause when we touch it feels like fire
We both know how good this feels
[This Is Us-Keyshia Cole]
:]
All songs
that make me think of my love <3
well.
The parts i have on here, some of the songs arent full out love songs, but have a few great lines
I have a lyrical love, it's better than a story book romance<3 It's better than anything.
Monday, November 02, 2009
If I traded it all...
Restless tonight
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It's nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line
[Chorus:] If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something
I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time But not this time
Even though I know I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
[Chorus x2]
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds [Chorus x3]
-----------------
An other song with some ties to me.
Honestly. I would trade everything to be there with him. It's so sad..I can't stand this place...I'm so sensitive to the fighting. I'm sure it's not healthy to feel as if I'm on eggshells thinner than a crisp autumn leaf. Patience is key, this i know. And when I do get to be with him...the victory will be ever so sweet. I would trade it all, just so he could be mine...in my arms, the one I could wake up next to every morning..the one who I get to rest my head on. But I shall wait. I'd wait forever for him, because he's more than worth it. <3
And the bit where it's "Yeah, I guess I know..I just hate how it sounds.." I hate how...people judge me for saying I'd give it all for him. For being so committed. It's my life to live..not theirs. They're not the ones in my shoes, now are they? No. It's my mind, my heart..my choices. I'm sorry that what makes me happy, makes you question me. But no amount of questions can tear him away from me, ever. I swear that right now.
________________
Where's Walda?
Yes. That's Walda, with an A. Not Waldo.
For my Mass Media class, we have to do a Radio Production as a grade....and we took the whole..where's Waldo concept..and morphed it into ours. It has to be like..one of the old timey stories...like you used to hear. But can be in modern day. So..We're going to do ours about Walda, this teenage girl, who wants to go to a party and can't..but she sneaks out..and her friend..who is a bad influence..is the last one to talk to her before she goes missing...So prime suspect right there. And I'm the Detective, Sam Spike. xD And it's going to be really cool. It's kind of comical, yet...a mystery. :] It'll be epic.
________________________
Quotes that spark somewhat deep thoughts...:
My dear our hearts have gotten good
at pumping cheap new lust into our young veins <----- This made me think..of some of my friends... Because they're not even into relationships. I love my Kenzieboo. She's a good soul. She always makes me laugh, and she always know what to say when I need it. And nothing about her, bothers me. Because she's never sworen to be a virgin, like Sam did. And she doesn't..flaunt herself around like Sam does either. I just...find...that love is almost becoming such a cliche` in this modern day world. How do people expect healthy relationships..or a kind world, without it? Or peace?
Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly,
but the bumblebee doesn’t know that,
so it keeps flying anyway. <----- This made me think about how...although something seems totally impossible...there's always a way around it, always a way to prove it way...always a way, to make the impossible, possible. Seems sort of amazing. And it puts a smile across my face to know, there is hope, even when things seem completely and endlessly, impossible.
hypothetically, if you were point a,
and theoretically, if i was point b,
we would be frantically melting
into one massive point that could overcome anything. <---- I've had someone prove to me, that not all boys are the same. That when I turn to run away from my insecurties..my issues...our issues..That he'll want to work things out. That..No matter what, I have him. I won't ever do a crazy thing like I did. I wouldn't even think of it. I still thank God every morning when I wake, knowing he's always going to be mine. He's honestly, the best thing, to ever happen to me. I know, he and I can overcome anything. I can do anything as long as he's by my side. With him, I feel like i can fly. We're stronger than anyone will ever be able to understand.
we've scuplted ourselves into machines,
we've shaped our love into greed. <--- once again, relating to how..we just go through our daily lives..some of us, seeming ever so selfish. We're the "me" generation, well most of us. I'm making a generalization, but I know, not all of us are like this. But again...where has the compassion gone? Do we not realize how much we care for someone, until they're hanging on to their last shred of life? Or are we too caught up in our own little worlds, to be open and compassionate to those around us?
You're my every dream.
You're the threadwork to my seams <--- I never knew, it was possible for me to open up this much. To have someone know me, almost better than myself...sometimes..he does know me better than I know myself. He's my rock. He keeps me grounded. He's so amazing. He really is the thread that keeps me tied together, the puzzle piece that completes me.
The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie
awake I miss you. Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me. I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here. <---- Self explanatory, pretty much. :P
there was no such thing as lies and hurt
in the world that they built that night
a world that was separate from their old selves
Humans meeting and crashing into the infinite
parts of each others souls
Living in what they could promise;
One day at a time. <------ Made me think about..how each and every relationship is different. Whether it's a romantic relationship, or a friendship. They both have a bit of common ground though..trust. Without it, you don't have much to stand on. And promises...need trust..for you to believe in them, otherwise they're just pretty little ideas. And how..some relationships are just so wonderful, they take you away from your problems when you're around that person, and you can relax..letting the daily stress factors, wash away from you, atleast, for that moment being.
______________
On a different note. We started the poetry unit in my English class today. :D I acutally got excited. Poetry is my thing. Of course, I was the one answering all the questions. Ms. Moe adores me because of that. Everyone in my class hates poetry. When Ms. Moe asked me to read what I had written aloud today..I got shy. Like. Really shy. Cause i had to write a quick sonnet. Everyone was like "Dannggg. Lizzie's smarttt!" They're all jealous because I can think up pretty much anything on the spot. Ms. Moe is urging me to get my poetry published somewhere. I'll think about it. She says, I have amazing potential, and it's ever so rare to find someone my age, with such a matured writing style.
_______________
I start Driver's Education, Behind The Wheel, tomorrow, right after school. From 3-5. Should be good. I'm driving with one of my friends too. I'm excited. :] I'm getting better. I'm not scared to drive fast anymore either :p
_________
Wednesday: I have to wear my ROTC uniform..it's club picture day..and we have to be in uniform to be in the picture. And I'll have inspection that day as well.
Thursday, I have CIRT after school, but thats about it.
Friday, I don't have school at all, because it's parent-teacher conferences. I also have the ball that night, from 7-10. I convinced my friend Tara, to go. She was in ROTC last year, and was in it for like..two weeks this year, before she dropped out..she got bored with it. But we're going, so I can hang out with her. There's a big ceremony before the dance, there's swordsman, and then a guest speaker..and cutting of the cake with the sword..then the oldest cadet takes a bite...then passes the cake along to the youngest, who takes a bite as well. It's a symbol for passing the knowledge along. I'm excited. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures :]
This weekend, both of my parents work. So it should be a pretty chill weekend.
Cause I wasted the light
Between both these times
I drew a really thin line
It's nothing I planned
And not that I can
But you should be mine
Across that line
[Chorus:] If I traded it all
If I gave it all away for one thing
Just for one thing
If I sorted it out
If I knew all about this one thing
Wouldn't that be something
I promise I might
Not walk on by
Maybe next time But not this time
Even though I know I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
[Chorus x2]
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds
Even though I know
I don't want to know
Yeah I guess I know
I just hate how it sounds [Chorus x3]
-----------------
An other song with some ties to me.
Honestly. I would trade everything to be there with him. It's so sad..I can't stand this place...I'm so sensitive to the fighting. I'm sure it's not healthy to feel as if I'm on eggshells thinner than a crisp autumn leaf. Patience is key, this i know. And when I do get to be with him...the victory will be ever so sweet. I would trade it all, just so he could be mine...in my arms, the one I could wake up next to every morning..the one who I get to rest my head on. But I shall wait. I'd wait forever for him, because he's more than worth it. <3
And the bit where it's "Yeah, I guess I know..I just hate how it sounds.." I hate how...people judge me for saying I'd give it all for him. For being so committed. It's my life to live..not theirs. They're not the ones in my shoes, now are they? No. It's my mind, my heart..my choices. I'm sorry that what makes me happy, makes you question me. But no amount of questions can tear him away from me, ever. I swear that right now.
________________
Where's Walda?
Yes. That's Walda, with an A. Not Waldo.
For my Mass Media class, we have to do a Radio Production as a grade....and we took the whole..where's Waldo concept..and morphed it into ours. It has to be like..one of the old timey stories...like you used to hear. But can be in modern day. So..We're going to do ours about Walda, this teenage girl, who wants to go to a party and can't..but she sneaks out..and her friend..who is a bad influence..is the last one to talk to her before she goes missing...So prime suspect right there. And I'm the Detective, Sam Spike. xD And it's going to be really cool. It's kind of comical, yet...a mystery. :] It'll be epic.
________________________
Quotes that spark somewhat deep thoughts...:
My dear our hearts have gotten good
at pumping cheap new lust into our young veins <----- This made me think..of some of my friends... Because they're not even into relationships. I love my Kenzieboo. She's a good soul. She always makes me laugh, and she always know what to say when I need it. And nothing about her, bothers me. Because she's never sworen to be a virgin, like Sam did. And she doesn't..flaunt herself around like Sam does either. I just...find...that love is almost becoming such a cliche` in this modern day world. How do people expect healthy relationships..or a kind world, without it? Or peace?
Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly,
but the bumblebee doesn’t know that,
so it keeps flying anyway. <----- This made me think about how...although something seems totally impossible...there's always a way around it, always a way to prove it way...always a way, to make the impossible, possible. Seems sort of amazing. And it puts a smile across my face to know, there is hope, even when things seem completely and endlessly, impossible.
hypothetically, if you were point a,
and theoretically, if i was point b,
we would be frantically melting
into one massive point that could overcome anything. <---- I've had someone prove to me, that not all boys are the same. That when I turn to run away from my insecurties..my issues...our issues..That he'll want to work things out. That..No matter what, I have him. I won't ever do a crazy thing like I did. I wouldn't even think of it. I still thank God every morning when I wake, knowing he's always going to be mine. He's honestly, the best thing, to ever happen to me. I know, he and I can overcome anything. I can do anything as long as he's by my side. With him, I feel like i can fly. We're stronger than anyone will ever be able to understand.
we've scuplted ourselves into machines,
we've shaped our love into greed. <--- once again, relating to how..we just go through our daily lives..some of us, seeming ever so selfish. We're the "me" generation, well most of us. I'm making a generalization, but I know, not all of us are like this. But again...where has the compassion gone? Do we not realize how much we care for someone, until they're hanging on to their last shred of life? Or are we too caught up in our own little worlds, to be open and compassionate to those around us?
You're my every dream.
You're the threadwork to my seams <--- I never knew, it was possible for me to open up this much. To have someone know me, almost better than myself...sometimes..he does know me better than I know myself. He's my rock. He keeps me grounded. He's so amazing. He really is the thread that keeps me tied together, the puzzle piece that completes me.
The stars lean down to kiss you, and I lie
awake I miss you. Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere.
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly, but I'll miss your arms around me. I'd send a postcard to you dear,
'Cause I wish you were here. <---- Self explanatory, pretty much. :P
there was no such thing as lies and hurt
in the world that they built that night
a world that was separate from their old selves
Humans meeting and crashing into the infinite
parts of each others souls
Living in what they could promise;
One day at a time. <------ Made me think about..how each and every relationship is different. Whether it's a romantic relationship, or a friendship. They both have a bit of common ground though..trust. Without it, you don't have much to stand on. And promises...need trust..for you to believe in them, otherwise they're just pretty little ideas. And how..some relationships are just so wonderful, they take you away from your problems when you're around that person, and you can relax..letting the daily stress factors, wash away from you, atleast, for that moment being.
______________
On a different note. We started the poetry unit in my English class today. :D I acutally got excited. Poetry is my thing. Of course, I was the one answering all the questions. Ms. Moe adores me because of that. Everyone in my class hates poetry. When Ms. Moe asked me to read what I had written aloud today..I got shy. Like. Really shy. Cause i had to write a quick sonnet. Everyone was like "Dannggg. Lizzie's smarttt!" They're all jealous because I can think up pretty much anything on the spot. Ms. Moe is urging me to get my poetry published somewhere. I'll think about it. She says, I have amazing potential, and it's ever so rare to find someone my age, with such a matured writing style.
_______________
I start Driver's Education, Behind The Wheel, tomorrow, right after school. From 3-5. Should be good. I'm driving with one of my friends too. I'm excited. :] I'm getting better. I'm not scared to drive fast anymore either :p
_________
Wednesday: I have to wear my ROTC uniform..it's club picture day..and we have to be in uniform to be in the picture. And I'll have inspection that day as well.
Thursday, I have CIRT after school, but thats about it.
Friday, I don't have school at all, because it's parent-teacher conferences. I also have the ball that night, from 7-10. I convinced my friend Tara, to go. She was in ROTC last year, and was in it for like..two weeks this year, before she dropped out..she got bored with it. But we're going, so I can hang out with her. There's a big ceremony before the dance, there's swordsman, and then a guest speaker..and cutting of the cake with the sword..then the oldest cadet takes a bite...then passes the cake along to the youngest, who takes a bite as well. It's a symbol for passing the knowledge along. I'm excited. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures :]
This weekend, both of my parents work. So it should be a pretty chill weekend.
Friday, October 30, 2009
And the poets..
Joke me something awful just like kisses on the necks of "best friends"*
We're the kids who feel like dead ends
And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses
I took a shot and didn't even come close
At trust and love and hope
And the poets are just kids who didn't make it
And never had it at all
And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense
Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough
But we never had it at all
And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
to everyone else around me
everyone else around me
everyone else around me
-------
Parts that are colored different/bolded/italicized = in relation to me.
We're the kids who feel like dead ends;;; I feel like this..because I feel like I'm stuck in today. I can paddle forever towards a sucessful tomorrow, and never fully get there. You can always do better. I feel like a dead end at times, i have such big hopes and apsirations to be something I've always thought of as wonderful..but in the moment, it doesnt seem i've made alot of progress towards it. That I am who I still am, and it won't change. I'm not taking personality wise, I'm talking..future wise. I know, i know...I shouldn't wish away my present with thoughts of my future, but i do..:/
And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses;; Self-explanatory, no?
I mean, I want to be remembered for my good deeds..not my missteps. I want to come off in a good light, honestly.
And the poets are just kids who didn't make it
And never had it at all;; I can relate to this. Considering I'm rather poetic....and poetry is my outlet for my emotions. Therefore, I'm an emotional person when it comes to writing down my thoughts. It helps me though. But sometimes, i feel oh so very fragile. Sometimes i feel like I don't belong, or as if I've never belonged. But i suppose, for the most part, uniqueness is a great thing.
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line;; With all the highschool drama going on...lies are flying around like crazy. And I'm just..tired of it. Tired of the pettyness, tired of the fighting. I'm over it. If you got issues with me, then fine. I know my reputations fine though :D, I make sure of that.
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead [and this quote as well] And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart;; It's so easy to fake a smile sometimes..and just go on..pretending nothing's eating at you..and soon enough, you've tricked yourself into thinking you're fine. I'm not saying that i have...but for my parents, I've just kind of been like whatever to them. Pretending I'm fine with how they're listening to me. Honestly, they haven't been listening to me, at all. It's rather annoying and upseting. I mean..I told them, atleast twice that, the marine corps ball is the 6th, which is a friday, and my parents swore up and down, it was the 7th. I know for a fact, I said "Oh, the ball is on the 6th,not the 7th this year." And this comic I've seen before, is coming on both days..and they had made plans to go on the 6th..the four of us. And they didnt understand why I got upset when I said NO, we can't go. Instead, they're dropping me off at the ball, then going, and getting me after the show. My mom was a total snob about it. Seriously. She's like "well fine! Your father and I will go, it doesn't matter. We need alone time too!" and she acted as if it were my fault that the ball was on a Friday. Honestly. They didn't even think about the fact that the 7th would have been a Saturday. They don't listen.There was something else I had said this week, that they totally blew off as well. What's the point in talking to people who will still pass the blame to you, because they're too caught up in their own world to really listen? It's rather annoying. And they wonder why I feel so misunderstood.
From comparing myself to everyone else around me;; Basically..i feel as if..there's always going to be someone better at whatever you're good at. Perfection is only an illusion. I feel as if I need to stop comparing myself, and just be who I am. Which is what I'm trying to do, honestly. Who cares about perfection? It's the imperfections that make you beautiful, and who you are.
We're the kids who feel like dead ends
And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses
I took a shot and didn't even come close
At trust and love and hope
And the poets are just kids who didn't make it
And never had it at all
And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
Please put the doctor on the phone 'cause I'm not making any sense
Blame everyone but me for this mess
And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart
We never seemed so far
I'm hopelessly hopeful, you're just hopeless enough
But we never had it at all
And the record won't stop skipping
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead
From comparing myself to everyone else around me
to everyone else around me
everyone else around me
everyone else around me
-------
Parts that are colored different/bolded/italicized = in relation to me.
We're the kids who feel like dead ends;;; I feel like this..because I feel like I'm stuck in today. I can paddle forever towards a sucessful tomorrow, and never fully get there. You can always do better. I feel like a dead end at times, i have such big hopes and apsirations to be something I've always thought of as wonderful..but in the moment, it doesnt seem i've made alot of progress towards it. That I am who I still am, and it won't change. I'm not taking personality wise, I'm talking..future wise. I know, i know...I shouldn't wish away my present with thoughts of my future, but i do..:/
And I want to be known for my hits, not just my misses;; Self-explanatory, no?
I mean, I want to be remembered for my good deeds..not my missteps. I want to come off in a good light, honestly.
And the poets are just kids who didn't make it
And never had it at all;; I can relate to this. Considering I'm rather poetic....and poetry is my outlet for my emotions. Therefore, I'm an emotional person when it comes to writing down my thoughts. It helps me though. But sometimes, i feel oh so very fragile. Sometimes i feel like I don't belong, or as if I've never belonged. But i suppose, for the most part, uniqueness is a great thing.
And the lies just won't stop slipping
And besides my reputation's on the line;; With all the highschool drama going on...lies are flying around like crazy. And I'm just..tired of it. Tired of the pettyness, tired of the fighting. I'm over it. If you got issues with me, then fine. I know my reputations fine though :D, I make sure of that.
We can fake it for the airwaves
Force our smiles, baby, half dead [and this quote as well] And my back has been breaking from this heavy heart;; It's so easy to fake a smile sometimes..and just go on..pretending nothing's eating at you..and soon enough, you've tricked yourself into thinking you're fine. I'm not saying that i have...but for my parents, I've just kind of been like whatever to them. Pretending I'm fine with how they're listening to me. Honestly, they haven't been listening to me, at all. It's rather annoying and upseting. I mean..I told them, atleast twice that, the marine corps ball is the 6th, which is a friday, and my parents swore up and down, it was the 7th. I know for a fact, I said "Oh, the ball is on the 6th,not the 7th this year." And this comic I've seen before, is coming on both days..and they had made plans to go on the 6th..the four of us. And they didnt understand why I got upset when I said NO, we can't go. Instead, they're dropping me off at the ball, then going, and getting me after the show. My mom was a total snob about it. Seriously. She's like "well fine! Your father and I will go, it doesn't matter. We need alone time too!" and she acted as if it were my fault that the ball was on a Friday. Honestly. They didn't even think about the fact that the 7th would have been a Saturday. They don't listen.There was something else I had said this week, that they totally blew off as well. What's the point in talking to people who will still pass the blame to you, because they're too caught up in their own world to really listen? It's rather annoying. And they wonder why I feel so misunderstood.
From comparing myself to everyone else around me;; Basically..i feel as if..there's always going to be someone better at whatever you're good at. Perfection is only an illusion. I feel as if I need to stop comparing myself, and just be who I am. Which is what I'm trying to do, honestly. Who cares about perfection? It's the imperfections that make you beautiful, and who you are.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Don't Surrender
Shaking;
Barely Waking,
Closely Escaping.
Terrified eyes glance around,
Heart still beating quickly;
The clock, forever ticking.
Sweat droplets intertwine with tear drops;
Drizzling down her face,
A gasping breath enters, unevenly.
“It Was Just A Dream....
It Was Just A Dream; It Wasn't Real,”
She Shakily Tells Herself, As She
Throws The Blankets Back,
Rushing To Escape From The Dreams
That Use Her Bed As A Landing-Strip Tonight.
Don't Surrender,
Don't Surrender, To Those Blackened, Horrid Dreams.
They're Not Real;
They're Just Intended To Make You Feel,
...In A Way, Give You A Cheap Scare Thrill.
And Make Your Voice Go Shrill, Before You Ever Wake.
How Much More Of Feverish Dreams Can You Take?
They're Nothing But Fake;
Don't Take Them To Heart;
I Mean Come On, You've Been Strong From The Start,
Don't Start Slipping Now.
Don't Start Tripping Over Fallacies;
Can't You See, That Yeah, You Two Are Meant To Be?
And This Is Just A Build Up Of All Your Collected Stresses?
Don't Worry,
Don't Be In Such A Hurry;
Otherwise..Your Past Will Seem Oh So Blurry;
Just Breathe In, And Keep Loving, With All You Got.
Don't Be Shaken,
You're Just Mistaken,
For You See...It Was Only A Twisted Dream,
Which Isn't What It Really Seems To Be.
Trust Me,
Don't Surrender,
Don't Give Up,
You'll See, Those Dreams Are Just Putting Up A Cold Front.
-------------------
New Poem :]
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I’ve got another confession to make; I’m your fool.
I’ve got another confession to make
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
I’m your fool
Everyone’s got their chains to break
Holdin’ you
__________
In a way, we're all fools to the world. If you think about it, no one really gets out alive. So why must we strive so hard for perfection? Why do we worry ourselves into old age, about things we can't do a thing about?
Why do our souls seems so carefree, while our own thoughts and body, yearn for the future, when really...today is yesterdays future, and if you think about it...are you where you really wanted to be in the future?
Think back to when you were a little kid.
Nothing was so simple, than those times. The worst thing that could happen...was scraping up your knee...or finding out your best friend couldn't play because they were sick.
Realistically, what did you think you were turn out to be...going off that little kid? Honestly. Ask yourself that...and then..who are you today?
Are you proud of yourself? Is this everything you've ever wanted?
Is the person you're with, really all you've wanted, or even more?
It's not about, if you can live with that person...but rather, you can't live without them.
Where do you see yourself in five years? Can you see yourself, doing your dream...or atleast furthering what needs to be pushed forward, to achieve said dreams?
Are you standing on the sidelines..or are you in the game?
Or are you waiting until the perfect moment, to put your plan into action, so everything works out, good or bad?
Soul searching can do alot. And it's not..as if I'm not happy. That's not it at all. I'm the happiest I've ever been.
I just wonder where I'm going to end up down the road.
I want things to happen, the way I see them.
I want...to finish school, to be with who I'm with right now, for the rest of my life, and in the afterlife, if there is one. I want to see the world before I settle down. I want, to have two to three kids..I want...the life I've always dreamed of.I want the life he's always dreamed of too, cause our lives will forever intertwine.
This makes me all question....
Who am I really?
Am I defined by the dreams I have today?
Or rather by my past?
Or what I want in the future?
Or...is it sadly, all hearsay?
In a way, I think it's a mix of all.
Hearsay, because that's other peoples thoughts on me, past..because it's shapped me into who I am today, future, because that's what I'm striving towards.
It makes me wonder....who we all are.
Not just to ourselves, but each other.
Why are each others judgments..so...critical in a way? Some say they don't really matter, but at some point, someone's thoughts and take on you, will affect you, in some manner.
We are all humans. We all have DNA...we all have blood that rushes through our veins..hearts that pump...nerves..that feel. But...we all have something, something that makes us different. Something that makes us unique?
But. Are we really unique, if we're all different?
Oh, that is the question.
In my mind, I say yes. Because, no one is exactly alike. I mean, Look at twins. They're different, even if it's just personality wise. If we were all the same...this world..would be so lackluster, and totally different. Uniqueness, is what makes, everyone beautiful in their own ways.
I know who I am, but, I just feel in limbo right now.
Like...I'm questioning the world, not myself.
Odd way to put it, I suppose.
_________
OH
AND FOR THE RECORD!
Things change for a reason.
I don't think the womans place is still in the home, just to pop out babies, and cook the meals, to please the husband.
Yeah, we're women. We can do that. But we're also humans. We may not -always- be as strong as men, but we can find ways around it, We can find a way to do almost the same things they can. And it rather gets under my skin, when some egotistical, self-declaring moron, bash females and what they can/can't do.
Besides. Comparing the issues men have, and the ones women have, aren't fair. We have different bodies..and different things to deal with.
Yes, men have it hard, dealing with us, "instincts" and such.
And yes, women have it hard as well, labor..periods and such.
But, we're totally different.
You can't compare the two, because you can't -naturally- be both, and judge it fairly. And you can't have two people debate over the entire thing, because they're both biased, and though one side -may- win, that doesn't mean the point is completely valid.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Truths And Facts
So.
I haven't done a post like this in awhile, and the last couple posts have been, kinda deep in thought.
I thought i'd just do a general post this time.
Fact 1:
I don't sing in the shower. Never have.
Truth #1:
I overthink some things sometimes. So much, that I've made myself sick. But, now that things are further along, I don't stress over every little thing. I'm much better off now.
Fact 2:
When I love, I love with all my heart.
Truth #2:
You amaze me, and sometimes, you scare me. The way you have me wrapped around your little finger. But, I also know, I'm in completely safe hands.
Fact 3:
I have, a song for pretty much everything.
Truth #3:
In away, I'm ashamed with the amount of people I've liked. The number seems a bit high. And the types of people they were/are. But, then I realize, I am who I am, because of the things I've been through. And I'd be different if I didnt go through some of it..and you like me just the way I am. So, then I don't feel so bad, after all.
Fact 4:
I've only fallen off horses about 5 times.
Truth #4:
I never really think about how dangerous horseback riding is, until i see something bad happen.
Fact 5:
I'm a hopeless romantic. When I love, i put everything into that relationship. And even though I mess up sometimes...You will never find an other person, who cares about you in the same manner and level as I do. We're humans...we're programmed to mess up sometimes.
Truth #5:
I still feel bad. It still plagues my mind. I think thats one of the reasons I've been so overly mushy. Because, I don't want it to ever happen again. And i know it won't. But I want you to be happy. Always. And I want to be the one who makes you happy. Always.
Fact 6:
I'm not scared of dying.
Truth #6:
I'm scared of dying before I live my life. Before I can see my kids get married. Before i can lace my hands with his.
Fact:7:
I'm stronger than I ever thought I would be.
Truth #7:
I'm scared I'm too sensitive sometimes.
Fact #8:
I'll never cheat, on anyone.
kay, now for random stuff i believe in.
:D
I believe in holding hands [ it's cute :]
I believe in letting someone fall asleep in your arms, and not wanting to move, because they're so peaceful looking.
I believe in staying up all night, just so their voice can be the last thing you hear, before you drift off to sleep.
I believe that we all an other half.
I believe in soulmates
I believe i've found true happiness, infact, I know i have.
I believe in kissing until you can't breathe <3>
I believe in being a total mush
I believe in doing cute little things to suprise your other half
I believe in hanging out with your friends and your boyfriend, at the same time
I believe in having time just with your boyfriend, too.
I believe in leaving cute little notes, just so you can put a smile on their face
I believe in dreams
I believe, I can reach my dreams, and that they're realistic, No one can prove them different
I believe, I wouldn't be where I am now, without you.
I believe, you're the best for me, infact, I know this. <3>
I believe in saddling up when you're sad; it's one of the best cures
I believe in feeling the wind blow through your hair as you trot atop your favorite horse
I believe in just bonding with a horse
I believe, in being kind to animals
Yay for randomness?
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Interesting little half thoughts of mine.
No one is perfect. Although, some claim no one is perfect until you fall in love with them, It's a common fallacy. No one is perfect, honestly. You accept their flaws; - even love them for them. You don't see the flaws as an annoyance, but rather, an other beautiful, quirky thing about that person. You have your own flaws as well, and they accept those. And you learn, that person is, perfectly imperfect. Because if humans were perfect, this world wouldn't be so interesting as it is today. So cherish those flaws, and love them even more for them. Be forever happy, with your perfectly imperfect counterpart, just as they are with you.
And I love you. Not the idea of what you're going to be in the future, or what you were in the past. I love you because of the person you are. The way your mind keeps mine intrigued, the way your voice sounds when it says my name, the way you chuckle when you're purposely trying to annoy me..the way you let me explode, then you cuddle me. The way you let me tell you all my hopes and dreams. I love you, because you allow me to be me. And that'll never change, the past, the present, and the future, ain't got a thing on us darling. I can't be anything, If I don't have you by my side.
Let's face it. We're young, but we're so deep in love. I don't care what anyone else says. This right here is what I want. What I've always wanted. We're not too young to feel like this. We're both mature for our age. And love has no limits, no matter the miles inbetween, or the ages of which the two are. Seriously, let's face it. If you were to get on one knee, right here, right now, even with a ring pop, I wouldn't say no. I'd get totally speechless, then throw my arms around you, and squeek out a yes. But you already knew it. It's a scary thought, isn't it? But we've got a whole lot of time, for all that. But even so, I cherish every moment. And it really is astonishing, to see how we feel about each other. But this is what I want, okay? Nothing can ever change that.
Nostrils flaring, hooves prancing over the ground. Hands shaking ever so slightly. Shoulders rounded back, chest popped up, back perfectly curved upwards. Legs in line with hips, toes up, heels down. A smile spreads across the face, of a girl, on her best friend, the glorious horse.
^^ this is what happpens when I get bored.
I think random things.
:3
And I love you. Not the idea of what you're going to be in the future, or what you were in the past. I love you because of the person you are. The way your mind keeps mine intrigued, the way your voice sounds when it says my name, the way you chuckle when you're purposely trying to annoy me..the way you let me explode, then you cuddle me. The way you let me tell you all my hopes and dreams. I love you, because you allow me to be me. And that'll never change, the past, the present, and the future, ain't got a thing on us darling. I can't be anything, If I don't have you by my side.
Let's face it. We're young, but we're so deep in love. I don't care what anyone else says. This right here is what I want. What I've always wanted. We're not too young to feel like this. We're both mature for our age. And love has no limits, no matter the miles inbetween, or the ages of which the two are. Seriously, let's face it. If you were to get on one knee, right here, right now, even with a ring pop, I wouldn't say no. I'd get totally speechless, then throw my arms around you, and squeek out a yes. But you already knew it. It's a scary thought, isn't it? But we've got a whole lot of time, for all that. But even so, I cherish every moment. And it really is astonishing, to see how we feel about each other. But this is what I want, okay? Nothing can ever change that.
Nostrils flaring, hooves prancing over the ground. Hands shaking ever so slightly. Shoulders rounded back, chest popped up, back perfectly curved upwards. Legs in line with hips, toes up, heels down. A smile spreads across the face, of a girl, on her best friend, the glorious horse.
^^ this is what happpens when I get bored.
I think random things.
:3
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Who am I but a simple woman, who resides within a complicated body made of complex, intricate cells?
Who am I, but a young girl, with dreams and aspirations to be something great?
Do thy dreams not make me who I am?
Or do thy dreams pave the path to whom it is I shall be?
Am I not but an other being who has had their present shaped and molded by what lies in the past?
Are thy veins not filled with the same thick matter that circulates through us all? A tie that strings us all together, regardless of what the DNA matter, or what our skin may appear to be.
Are you not a being, whose heart beats just the same as mine?
Are you not a being, whose dreams fills thee to the top, brimming with ambitions?
Am I not but a hopeless romantic, with dreams and hopes, that could make even the most cold hearted swoon?
Am I not but a teenage girl, who deals with the daily issues of highschool?
Are we all not different, all unique in our ways?
Are we unique, because we all have different characteristics, or are we not unique, because we all are classified as being different, thus, making us the same in one aspect?
Or does that one aspect not matter, for it does not make us differ from our personalities, but allow us to express ourselves?
Does our uniqueness not let us shine, like we're our own star?
Do we surround ourselves with those whose shine is alike, yet differs, because no one can be exactly the same? So we're one big shining supernova?
Or do we stray, and spread ourselves around the sky, shining in different areas, letting ourselves be who ever we wish to be?
Or do we stick to those unlike us, so we can all be recognized for our doings?
Are we all not equal?
Documents and leaders claim so,
But none of us have the exact things one another does.
Sure, we may have the same chances in life, and maybe with the same restrictions..but due to circumstances..we may not be able to make those.
Life is never fair, and although we may try to make it seem as such, it is almost futile
But atleast we try.
Am I not but a being?
Am I not anything, but who I am?
Are we all not connected in this world, by some force or an other?
Who am I, but a young girl, with dreams and aspirations to be something great?
Do thy dreams not make me who I am?
Or do thy dreams pave the path to whom it is I shall be?
Am I not but an other being who has had their present shaped and molded by what lies in the past?
Are thy veins not filled with the same thick matter that circulates through us all? A tie that strings us all together, regardless of what the DNA matter, or what our skin may appear to be.
Are you not a being, whose heart beats just the same as mine?
Are you not a being, whose dreams fills thee to the top, brimming with ambitions?
Am I not but a hopeless romantic, with dreams and hopes, that could make even the most cold hearted swoon?
Am I not but a teenage girl, who deals with the daily issues of highschool?
Are we all not different, all unique in our ways?
Are we unique, because we all have different characteristics, or are we not unique, because we all are classified as being different, thus, making us the same in one aspect?
Or does that one aspect not matter, for it does not make us differ from our personalities, but allow us to express ourselves?
Does our uniqueness not let us shine, like we're our own star?
Do we surround ourselves with those whose shine is alike, yet differs, because no one can be exactly the same? So we're one big shining supernova?
Or do we stray, and spread ourselves around the sky, shining in different areas, letting ourselves be who ever we wish to be?
Or do we stick to those unlike us, so we can all be recognized for our doings?
Are we all not equal?
Documents and leaders claim so,
But none of us have the exact things one another does.
Sure, we may have the same chances in life, and maybe with the same restrictions..but due to circumstances..we may not be able to make those.
Life is never fair, and although we may try to make it seem as such, it is almost futile
But atleast we try.
Am I not but a being?
Am I not anything, but who I am?
Are we all not connected in this world, by some force or an other?
The way I see it..
Intercourse- Sexual Union
That is the definition that was in my health careers book. You may find it interesting, and ask why on Earth I'm writing a blog about such a thing.
And I'll say this to you, most don't view it that way. It's a union, it's a commitment.
It's not something you should just give away.
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage. It's your body, its your choice. If you're all for waiting until after you're married, that's perfectly fine. More power to you :>
But what does bother me, is the way some of us, just fling ourselves around. Like our body is just something to be toyed with.
It's as if we don't have enough pride in ourselves, and we build ourselves up with acts that we almost rather not speak about infront of those who are stricter with their bodies.
I don't care how careful you are...things still can happen.
And if you're young...are you fully ready for what can happen?
I see it as a union. Something that shouldn't be given away just because you're feeling it in that moment, with that person. I don't think it's something to be taken too lightly, honestly.
I think, it's a commitment. And now it's not just you, but someone else.
Because they could be at fault if something happens too.
I think it should be done out of love, and i think you shouldn't be pressured into doing it.
No one in a healthy, stable relationship will ever say that they wished they gave it up sooner.
Because they understand that it can build a relationship up, but it's not the foundations.
It's rather sad the way people just mess about now a days, just for their own pleasure, their own satisfaction.
How do you know that that guy you just gave your purity up to..isn't going to leave the next day?
How do you know he's not going to go run his mouth to his friends, to prove he can get what he wants?
I'm not saying all guys, or even girls are crappy people. Not all will leave.
But I'm saying this, to put it in your head.
So what do you want?
The union/commitment
Or the
Short term low-confidence booster?
That is the definition that was in my health careers book. You may find it interesting, and ask why on Earth I'm writing a blog about such a thing.
And I'll say this to you, most don't view it that way. It's a union, it's a commitment.
It's not something you should just give away.
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage. It's your body, its your choice. If you're all for waiting until after you're married, that's perfectly fine. More power to you :>
But what does bother me, is the way some of us, just fling ourselves around. Like our body is just something to be toyed with.
It's as if we don't have enough pride in ourselves, and we build ourselves up with acts that we almost rather not speak about infront of those who are stricter with their bodies.
I don't care how careful you are...things still can happen.
And if you're young...are you fully ready for what can happen?
I see it as a union. Something that shouldn't be given away just because you're feeling it in that moment, with that person. I don't think it's something to be taken too lightly, honestly.
I think, it's a commitment. And now it's not just you, but someone else.
Because they could be at fault if something happens too.
I think it should be done out of love, and i think you shouldn't be pressured into doing it.
No one in a healthy, stable relationship will ever say that they wished they gave it up sooner.
Because they understand that it can build a relationship up, but it's not the foundations.
It's rather sad the way people just mess about now a days, just for their own pleasure, their own satisfaction.
How do you know that that guy you just gave your purity up to..isn't going to leave the next day?
How do you know he's not going to go run his mouth to his friends, to prove he can get what he wants?
I'm not saying all guys, or even girls are crappy people. Not all will leave.
But I'm saying this, to put it in your head.
So what do you want?
The union/commitment
Or the
Short term low-confidence booster?
Monday, September 07, 2009
Naive? Or Too Nice?
So a few things have been getting the wheels in my head turning recently.
So let's say...you have a huge crush on someone, and then..when you finally tell that person, they come up with a reason they don't want to be in dating relationship with you, but yet, they carry on. They carry on in the playful, flirty ways they have been since the start; making you fall even farther and harder. And you're in a whirlwind..your head is in the clouds, your feet...floating above the ground.
I'm all for happiness. I'm all for love. Trust me on this, I'm one of the biggest hopeless romantics, ever.
But I have a good dose of cynicalism and logical in my blood as well.
The romanticness is for my relationship.
The logical, is for both.
I can understand why these two would continue to carry on, because they're making each other happy..without any commitments.
Now, seeing as you're not in a relationship with this person..they have the space to go and be with others, and not feel any remorse..because there are no strings that really tie you two together. And I'm not saying the other person is heartless, I'm just saying, they have the free will to do as they please. And if they really cared, they wouldn't do that to you, yes. But what if they're just having this...let's call it mini-relationship, where you two act as a couple, but are not...what if they're carrying that on, for the moment..because it's a quick fix...and there's no real work/effort behind it? It's as if, they're saying they're interested in you, but don't want the work that could/does come with an actual relationship.
I'm not against those people, who chose to be like that..because at the end of the day, it's your life you have to live, not mine. But are you being naive..thinking that maybe..if you give them time, they'll come around, and be with you? Or is more of an issue of being too nice? In the end, you're being a bit of both..simply because you're falling for them..and it seems as if they almost don't respect you, on a level they really should. Because you're giving them the power to destroy you, and they could be playing you just like a game...I'm not saying anyone is playin' anyone, and I'm not trying to make you guys paranoid..but if you're in one of these mini-relationships...ask yourself.
Do you honestly think they'll change their minds?
Is it right of them to be like "Oh, well, I don't wanna date you." then play around as if you're a couple? Is that not a bit hurtful to you?
Are you being truthful to yourself? I mean, is this really what you want? The constant wonder if it'll turn around..must be rather daunting.
How long do you let this carry on for? How much time do you give them...before you walk, because you're tired of nothing changing?
I'm thankful I'm in a secure relationship. And super super happy, for that matter :>
And I know that this happiness, is here to stay. Even if we have to over come stuff, we will..because if you're meant to be together, you'll always find a way to be together. And Overcoming things, makes you two stronger, together.
These bonds shall never be broken <3
But anyways.
Yes.
Even if my friends get all tangled up in one of those mini-relationships..I shall be here..to help them out.
No matter what.
:>
So let's say...you have a huge crush on someone, and then..when you finally tell that person, they come up with a reason they don't want to be in dating relationship with you, but yet, they carry on. They carry on in the playful, flirty ways they have been since the start; making you fall even farther and harder. And you're in a whirlwind..your head is in the clouds, your feet...floating above the ground.
I'm all for happiness. I'm all for love. Trust me on this, I'm one of the biggest hopeless romantics, ever.
But I have a good dose of cynicalism and logical in my blood as well.
The romanticness is for my relationship.
The logical, is for both.
I can understand why these two would continue to carry on, because they're making each other happy..without any commitments.
Now, seeing as you're not in a relationship with this person..they have the space to go and be with others, and not feel any remorse..because there are no strings that really tie you two together. And I'm not saying the other person is heartless, I'm just saying, they have the free will to do as they please. And if they really cared, they wouldn't do that to you, yes. But what if they're just having this...let's call it mini-relationship, where you two act as a couple, but are not...what if they're carrying that on, for the moment..because it's a quick fix...and there's no real work/effort behind it? It's as if, they're saying they're interested in you, but don't want the work that could/does come with an actual relationship.
I'm not against those people, who chose to be like that..because at the end of the day, it's your life you have to live, not mine. But are you being naive..thinking that maybe..if you give them time, they'll come around, and be with you? Or is more of an issue of being too nice? In the end, you're being a bit of both..simply because you're falling for them..and it seems as if they almost don't respect you, on a level they really should. Because you're giving them the power to destroy you, and they could be playing you just like a game...I'm not saying anyone is playin' anyone, and I'm not trying to make you guys paranoid..but if you're in one of these mini-relationships...ask yourself.
Do you honestly think they'll change their minds?
Is it right of them to be like "Oh, well, I don't wanna date you." then play around as if you're a couple? Is that not a bit hurtful to you?
Are you being truthful to yourself? I mean, is this really what you want? The constant wonder if it'll turn around..must be rather daunting.
How long do you let this carry on for? How much time do you give them...before you walk, because you're tired of nothing changing?
I'm thankful I'm in a secure relationship. And super super happy, for that matter :>
And I know that this happiness, is here to stay. Even if we have to over come stuff, we will..because if you're meant to be together, you'll always find a way to be together. And Overcoming things, makes you two stronger, together.
These bonds shall never be broken <3
But anyways.
Yes.
Even if my friends get all tangled up in one of those mini-relationships..I shall be here..to help them out.
No matter what.
:>
Monday, August 24, 2009
Whatcha Got..Till It's Gone.
This entry..is all about..not realizing what you got until it's gone.
I was listening to Toby Mac, and that's what got the wheels turnin in my mind.
So, sometimes you realize what you have, is amazing..but do you take it for granted? Do see it for what its really worth?
Why do we take things for granted?
Because it's easy, just to accept them as they are..and not give them as much praise as they deserve..because we become accustom to having it.
Some things last forever, some things don't.
Cherish what you have now, and do your best to keep it. :]
That's the end of my little advice today.
I knew that there were no guarantees. no way of knowing what came next for me, for him, or anybody. some things don't last forever, but some things do. like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there...
I was listening to Toby Mac, and that's what got the wheels turnin in my mind.
So, sometimes you realize what you have, is amazing..but do you take it for granted? Do see it for what its really worth?
Why do we take things for granted?
Because it's easy, just to accept them as they are..and not give them as much praise as they deserve..because we become accustom to having it.
Some things last forever, some things don't.
Cherish what you have now, and do your best to keep it. :]
That's the end of my little advice today.
I knew that there were no guarantees. no way of knowing what came next for me, for him, or anybody. some things don't last forever, but some things do. like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognize the person you see there...
Friday, August 21, 2009
We Are Speaking Louder Than Before.
Who is your God?
What does He stand for?
We all see our God differently..with all the different religions and all.
What do you stand for? Does your religion stand for?
Do you abide by it?
I'm a christian. But a very..unstrict one.
I believe in letting people be.
I believe in God, but the way I see Him, is alot different than others.
Some would say I'm not really a christian. But i am.
And I agree...with the song Louder Than Before [By Jeremy Camp]
Religion...beliefs..and all that..seem to be getting lost in this materialistic world.
Church used to be an every weekend thing....faith used to be alot stronger, it seems.
Now we're all getting caught up in our own worlds.
It seems as if we're the "me" generation.
Whatever happened to the strong faith thing?
What made us go astray?
Believe me, I'm not trying to push anything down your throat, I'm against that..I think it makes want to run the other direction.
If we're doing wrong...how can we point our fingers at each other, and claim they're doing wrong onto us as well? Should we not check thy hands before fingers are pointed about?
And if you're into having faith and all..isn't it wrong of you to judge and claim wrong doing..when you should be accepting and open? You're very hypocritical if you're doing this, i mean...you preach one thing..then turn the other way and point your impurities else where. Where is the right in this?
And if you're shoving your beliefs down someone's throat..don't you think it's going in one ear, and out the other? Yes, I believe in preaching, and teaching what you believe in, but shoving it on someone..isn't going to work. They won't take you seriously. And shouldn't you be accepting of others beliefs?
So I ask you..what are you going to do to speak louder than before?
Or are you just going to let your faith die?
Are you going to do volunteer work, are you going to speak about your beliefs, are you going to go to church more? Are you going to pray?
Are you going to dust off your bible and read some of it?
What are you going to do...keep the connection alive.
He doesn't turn his back on you, you stray from him.
What does He stand for?
We all see our God differently..with all the different religions and all.
What do you stand for? Does your religion stand for?
Do you abide by it?
I'm a christian. But a very..unstrict one.
I believe in letting people be.
I believe in God, but the way I see Him, is alot different than others.
Some would say I'm not really a christian. But i am.
And I agree...with the song Louder Than Before [By Jeremy Camp]
Religion...beliefs..and all that..seem to be getting lost in this materialistic world.
Church used to be an every weekend thing....faith used to be alot stronger, it seems.
Now we're all getting caught up in our own worlds.
It seems as if we're the "me" generation.
Whatever happened to the strong faith thing?
What made us go astray?
Believe me, I'm not trying to push anything down your throat, I'm against that..I think it makes want to run the other direction.
If we're doing wrong...how can we point our fingers at each other, and claim they're doing wrong onto us as well? Should we not check thy hands before fingers are pointed about?
And if you're into having faith and all..isn't it wrong of you to judge and claim wrong doing..when you should be accepting and open? You're very hypocritical if you're doing this, i mean...you preach one thing..then turn the other way and point your impurities else where. Where is the right in this?
And if you're shoving your beliefs down someone's throat..don't you think it's going in one ear, and out the other? Yes, I believe in preaching, and teaching what you believe in, but shoving it on someone..isn't going to work. They won't take you seriously. And shouldn't you be accepting of others beliefs?
So I ask you..what are you going to do to speak louder than before?
Or are you just going to let your faith die?
Are you going to do volunteer work, are you going to speak about your beliefs, are you going to go to church more? Are you going to pray?
Are you going to dust off your bible and read some of it?
What are you going to do...keep the connection alive.
He doesn't turn his back on you, you stray from him.
I Try My Best To Be Guarded..But I'm An Open Book Instead
Have you ever...tried so hard..to keep things to yourself..only to find out..all your good friends know about it..way better than you ever thought?
I've been so busy these past couple of days..
It's just all a whirlwind. It's like..woah where am I?
I'm just like..thinking.
Freshman year went by.
But I only have a few good memories from it.
Shouldn't highschool have tons?
Good or bad?
I don't know, i was so social at school, and at the barn..but at home..i did my homework and did not a lot, except mess about on the computer. It was like..I didnt have time to breathe, to be with friends. To be a teenager.
I kind of miss my childhood in a way..and it's..kind of painful now..to see..all my friends so carefree..where all they're worrying about is...where they're going to party next.
But they don't seem to care about grades..where as..I do.
I don't know.
Can you guys help me..like..keep myself rounded and balanced this year?
I needed more guiding last year, but now i know the way, and i can handle it, but a little help would be nice :]
And i know you guys will help me. <3
Who am I?
Will I become what I want?
Is this who I really am..or am I not done changing yet?
I feel very..out of place at the moment.
As if I'm in constant limbo at the moment; and there's nothing I can do about it.
I know..sometimes I need to let go...and breathe..and go with the flow..I guess in that sense, i'm a control freak, to an extent.
What is this life all about, really?
I'm seeing a trend..lately..all my blog posts..have been focused around one thing.
What's wrong with my head?
Normally I'm more levelheaded..and more...balanced and down to Earth..and now..its as if..my mind won't stop, at all.
It makes me feel very uneasy, and I feel..as if I'm becoming detached, from my own deeper thoughts..and my own emotions. It's odd. I don't know why I'm feeling like this...It's sane.
And it's making it worse, just..thinking about it.
Cause then i start wondering why I can't just leave it be. Makes me feel as if there's something acutally wrong with me.
See why I put up a front most of the time? The way i think, is very unnerving sometimes. It makes me seem insecure, and unstable..but i'm really not. I just think differently.
What are your goals for this year?
I'm going to try to just...be like a duck, i suppose..
let it all slide off my back. :]
We'll see how well this works.
I guess..in a way..
I'm acting like a teenager, because I'm trying to find myself.
I know who I am, but this world is ever turning..and...things change
But I'm happy.
Life goes on.
I've been so busy these past couple of days..
It's just all a whirlwind. It's like..woah where am I?
I'm just like..thinking.
Freshman year went by.
But I only have a few good memories from it.
Shouldn't highschool have tons?
Good or bad?
I don't know, i was so social at school, and at the barn..but at home..i did my homework and did not a lot, except mess about on the computer. It was like..I didnt have time to breathe, to be with friends. To be a teenager.
I kind of miss my childhood in a way..and it's..kind of painful now..to see..all my friends so carefree..where all they're worrying about is...where they're going to party next.
But they don't seem to care about grades..where as..I do.
I don't know.
Can you guys help me..like..keep myself rounded and balanced this year?
I needed more guiding last year, but now i know the way, and i can handle it, but a little help would be nice :]
And i know you guys will help me. <3
Who am I?
Will I become what I want?
Is this who I really am..or am I not done changing yet?
I feel very..out of place at the moment.
As if I'm in constant limbo at the moment; and there's nothing I can do about it.
I know..sometimes I need to let go...and breathe..and go with the flow..I guess in that sense, i'm a control freak, to an extent.
What is this life all about, really?
I'm seeing a trend..lately..all my blog posts..have been focused around one thing.
What's wrong with my head?
Normally I'm more levelheaded..and more...balanced and down to Earth..and now..its as if..my mind won't stop, at all.
It makes me feel very uneasy, and I feel..as if I'm becoming detached, from my own deeper thoughts..and my own emotions. It's odd. I don't know why I'm feeling like this...It's sane.
And it's making it worse, just..thinking about it.
Cause then i start wondering why I can't just leave it be. Makes me feel as if there's something acutally wrong with me.
See why I put up a front most of the time? The way i think, is very unnerving sometimes. It makes me seem insecure, and unstable..but i'm really not. I just think differently.
What are your goals for this year?
I'm going to try to just...be like a duck, i suppose..
let it all slide off my back. :]
We'll see how well this works.
I guess..in a way..
I'm acting like a teenager, because I'm trying to find myself.
I know who I am, but this world is ever turning..and...things change
But I'm happy.
Life goes on.
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