Serenity

Edit:: 11/29/08: I just saw myself on PBS. I was leading Montana, and Strawberry at CIRT. It was an at local glance thing, it was kinda cool. It comes on randomly. =]*

I saw Kaitlin's blog. I thought i'd use her idea xD

Truth #1
I miss you. I still think about you, and wonder how things are for you now. I wish we could still be friends, but you made no move to contact me after i left..but i never tried to either..I figured you were upset with me. I miss you, and I'm sorry.

Fact #1
I love chocolate, it's like a bandaid for anything hurting

Truth#2
I wish you would still talk to me. I wish you wouldn't judge me, because I don't still go to that place were we first met. I thought you weren't so judgement. I guess places and time, change people you once thought you knew. I was young then, I still am, I was more naive then too. I only wish we would have kept in contact, like we swore up and down, we would.

Fact #2
Time can change any, and everything. This is something I've come to know.

Truth #3
I envy people too much. I hate it. I wish i could be totally content with what I am, with what I have, but I can't. At times, I can, but othertimes, I'm totally wanting. But it's part of being human.

Fact #3
I try not to cry too much, I know, it's crazy. That i need to get those emotions out, and if i do cry, it's in front of good friends, or by myself in my room.

Truth#4
I need to stay connected with God. I'm trying. I really am. This new church, seems quiet promising. I feel more..warmth, not so empty either.

Fact#4
I am afraid to let go of my..standards I guess..
I'm afraid to dance infront of people. I guess, I can get quiet shy at times. It's annoying, at times.

Truth#5
I sometimes wonder who I am. Why I'm here. What my purpose is. But othertimes, I realize it's to be here, to help others, to find a niche`. To help the riders at CIRT, to make a name for myself..But sometimes, I wonder if that's ever enough.

Fact#5
Music is like a drug for me, It says the words I cannot say.

Truth#6
I'm very insecure sometimes. But otherdays, I'm confident, and I know how to do what I need to do. Human nature is quiet odd.

Fact #6
I have really deep thoughts at times.
I have layers to myself, you can't figure me out right away.
You can tell, by some of my thoughts, that I do not normaly act my age.

Truth#7
I worry I won't get the job I want; I stress over it. I try hard at school. I do not want to be stuck in some horrible job, 15 years from now, and already miserable. That's not what I want, at all.

Fact#7
I have back-up ideas incase, i cannot get the job i would like.

Truth #8
It's way easier for me, to write down my feelings and thoughts, in poetry, and in pretty little paragraphs, then it ever has been, to say it.

Fact #8
I say things I later regret when I'm upset/angry.


So, yesterday was rather stressful. We brought grandpa home, andit was hard seeing him. He's so small and frail now. Nothing like the jolly, Mr. Fix it, I once knew. Not the same grandpa I would run to when I had scraped my knee, not the same grandpa I had once sat in the basement with, and watched him construct things.
He didn't know me. Or my uncle, who drove up from Texas.
I couldn't understand him.
It made my heartache.

I plan on going to Richwoods this weekend, I did last weekend as well.

Fireflight;; Serenity

The light behind your eyes
Tells me that you've cried
Sometime tonight
I offer down My hand
But without your plans
You cannot hide
The white snow falls (I cannot see)
On my black heart (In front of me)
Say it to me in a way that I can understand
I hear You call (Loud and clear)
It melts my heart (Take my fear)
Show me how to see the love that brings serenity
I'm pouring out My love
Open up your hands
Not big enough
You tried to do it all
It's time for you to fall
You've done enough
The white snow falls (I cannot see)
On my black heart (In front of me)
Say it to me in a way that I can understand
I hear You call (Loud and clear)
It melts my heart (Take my fear)
Show me how to see the love that brings serenity
[Background:] Loud and clear,Take my fear (2x)
Oh my God I've worked so farI've gotten nowhere
The white snow falls (I cannot see)
On my black heart (In front of me)
Say it to me in a way that I can understand
I hear You call (Loud and clear)
It melts my heart (Take my fear)
Show me how to see the love that brings serenity


Quote of the week:

The sooner you realize things will never be the same, the sooner you can move on.